he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
