I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
home. puking in laundry basket.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
