get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I smell stomach acid.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
