I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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