whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
