My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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