Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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