We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You've changed since you got that strap on
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
