Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
