I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
