Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
