I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize