All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
