I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
