whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
