so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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