you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
