i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
40s are totally the cure
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
