i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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