she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
