I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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