i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
