Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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