cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
