I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
