do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
"it" just moved
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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