Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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