You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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