By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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