Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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