Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
