i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
