She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
