Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
