I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
