My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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