I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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