I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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