At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
