nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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