I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
