After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
