I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
