it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
