it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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