You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm lost and stupid without you.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
