I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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