Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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