Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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