gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
