Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
smell my finger.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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