apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
