Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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