the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
