Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize