OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
