What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
