Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
