im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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