My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she woke up with a sticky ear
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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