Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
