Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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