Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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