i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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