ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
