To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
