So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
