I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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