Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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