I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
