You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
