let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
