Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish i was in the wii world.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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