Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
