JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
